Matariki Print from Aroha and Friends
It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself. It’s much much harder to put the effort in and be a friend. Oddly (or not – sarcasm) one pays off far better than the other.
But I’m not exactly great at remembering this. I put lots and lots of effort in and then I burn myself out and get bummed out and then convince myself all sorts of terrible things. Then, because I am incredibly stubborn I can’t make it stop.
I am my own worst enemy.
So it goes like this,
‘Nobody likes me’ ‘Nobody wants me around’
And I get upset and I cry and Adam gets exasperated trying to make me see that it’s all in my head and oh boy is it fun.
So last year, with this all swirling around and being crazy busy with work and uni and projects I decided to not hold a Matariki.
(Matariki being an annual dinner I throw for my friends under the stars of Matariki to celebrate friendship, growth, endings and new beginnings.)
But, I missed it. So, this Monday past I reinstated the tradition.
Chaotic, magical and incredibly fulfilling, this Matariki was like we’d never taken a break.
It was a night of delicious food, great company, laughs and some really special moments all crushed together around a big table in a tiny room with far too many people. (And kind of beautifully not ‘blogger picture friendly’ at all).
There were faces who’d been to a Matariki dinner before and faces who had never been there but collectively they were all people who I truly care about.
We shared a something we were thankful for, a waiata and we tucked in to some food.
What was really special was seeing how the kaupapa had evolved from that first dinner, four years ago. How those darling boys who’ve stuck around for so damn long understand what Matariki (for us) is all about.
Aaron, Bain, Waymouth, Mudford, Curtis, Cameron, Georgie, Adam, Josiah, Hans, Francesca, Michael, Kieran. Thank you for being there.
Matariki left me in a special place and it made me stop and think, it’s not just that group who give my life joy. And so as we dive further and further into a post that is almost more personal than I am comfortable with…
Let me say –
It’s also Steph and Monique who keep me sane and happy on a 8:30 to 5 basis. Who drink with me and eat with me and are incredibly special women.
It’s also our Friday lunch and Sangria’s crew who expand the joy and have made coming to work that bit more bearable.
It’s Laura and Lizzy for starting #bloggersbrunchclub with me and being my first real blogging friends.
It’s similarly all the lovely people who I’ve met online. People who share so much of themselves with everyone in return for nothing.
It’s my tell tale family who I miss and don’t see nearly often enough.
And last but not least, it’s my family. Particularly my parents. I did not realise what a team we are until you guys left me alone with the children. It was tough and oh god was it exhausting. And oh boy am I looking forward to some normalcy.
To my readers, thank you for being here. If you’ve read to the bottom, thank you for putting up with quite an intimate post. It means a lot to me.
Comment, I may surprise you.